I Am Trying To Be On The Edge Of Technology

Johan

  • 01:34:00 am on November 29, 2007 | # |
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    Operator: “Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?”
    Caller:
    “Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.”
    Operator:
    “What sort of trouble?”
    Caller:
    “Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.”
    Operator:
    “Went away?”
    Caller:
    “They disappeared.”
    Operator:
    “Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?”
    Caller:
    “Nothing.”
    Operator:
    “Nothing??”
    Caller:
    “It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.”
    Operator:
    “Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you log out?”
    Caller:
    “How do I tell?”
    Operator:
    “Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?”
    Caller:
    “What’s a sea-prompt?”
    Operator:
    “Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?”
    Caller:
    “There isn’t any cursor: I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.”
    Operator:
    “Does your monitor have a power indicator?”
    Caller:
    “What’s a monitor?”
    Operator:
    “It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?”
    Caller:
    “I don’t know.”
    Operator:
    “Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?”
    Caller:
    “Yes, I think so.”
    Operator:
    “Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.”
    Caller:
    “Yes, it is.”
    Operator:
    “When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?”
    Caller:
    “No.”
    Operator:
    “Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.”
    Caller:
    “Okay, here it is.”
    Operator:
    “Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.”
    Caller:
    “I can’t reach.”
    Operator:
    “Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??”
    Caller:
    “No.”
    Operator:
    “Even if you maybe put yourself in the right angle where you can see?”
    Caller:
    “Oh, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle - it’s because it’s dark.”
    Operator:
    “Dark?”
    Caller:
    “Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.”
    Operator:
    “Well, turn on the office light then.”
    Caller:
    “I can’t.”
    Operator:
    “No? Why not?”
    Caller:
    “Because there’s a power failure.”
    Operator:
    “A power…………………….………….A power failure? Aha, Okay, we’ve got it licked now. Tell me, do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?”
    Caller:
    “Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.”
    Operator:
    “Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.”
    Caller:
    “Really? Is it that bad?”
    Operator:
    “Yes, I’m afraid it is.”
    Caller:
    “Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?”
    Operator:
    “Tell them you’re too f*%king stupid to own a computer

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